HomeI'm not avoiding you... Wait, no I am.
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I'm not avoiding you... Wait, no I am.
by Ivazel Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:21 am
Yus, although it's not you I'm avoiding. It's more of a friend.
See I'd planned to go to a show with one of my friends, Sophie (who I see as almost a sister), however because I've been having financial problems I wasn't able to buy the tickets in time to actually go. Now I feel really bad because we had it all planned out and it was going to be pretty awesome.
I've now been time of avoiding her now for about a week or two because I feel too bad to actually tell her that come later on this month we won't be doing it, (because I was going to be buying her ticket too). I know it's not the right course of action to take but eh I don't know how to say it. :S
So I'm curious, has anything similar happened to you? And what would you do? :l
Ivazel- Posts : 59
Join date : 2013-03-17
Age : 31
Location : England, UK -
Re: I'm not avoiding you... Wait, no I am.
by Eboneye Mon Mar 18, 2013 7:52 am
Yes, it has happened to me before.
I promised a trip with a friend and then had financial problems. It was embarrassing and I didn't want to disappoint her but I had to tell her that I couldn't go. She understood. You can't avoid your friend. This could be making it worse for you. Just tell her the truth. If shes a friend and "almost a sister" to you, she'll understand.
I promised a trip with a friend and then had financial problems. It was embarrassing and I didn't want to disappoint her but I had to tell her that I couldn't go. She understood. You can't avoid your friend. This could be making it worse for you. Just tell her the truth. If shes a friend and "almost a sister" to you, she'll understand.
Eboneye- Posts : 21
Join date : 2013-03-07
Location : west of somewhere
Re: I'm not avoiding you... Wait, no I am.
by Fai Mon Mar 18, 2013 9:25 pm
I'm blunt and I'd actually say it.
Also, I'd offer the option of trying to scalp some tickets. Not sure if you've heard of the term or not. Just go and see if anyone is selling any outside of the show. There usually are.
Also, I'd offer the option of trying to scalp some tickets. Not sure if you've heard of the term or not. Just go and see if anyone is selling any outside of the show. There usually are.
Fai- Posts : 520
Join date : 2013-03-14
Age : 33
Location : Saskatchewan
Re: I'm not avoiding you... Wait, no I am.
by Konti Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:48 am
I know that feel.
Oh gosh I have so many examples for how much I know that feel but the most recent one that comes to mind is how an online friend who I've known for years was getting married and his fiancee (who I also become friends with) messaged me and invited me to their wedding/afterparty. It's hours away but I had work off that day, so I told her I'd be honored to come.
Then my work schedule changed and I ended up having to work that day. But for some reason, I still felt bad to tell her I couldn't make it, and so I said I'd find a way to make it around work or ask for the day off.
Eventually, I had to come to terms with myself and just say "omigosh I'm so sorry, but I really can't make it. You live many hours away and I can't get off of work that day. Please don't hate me. );"
But you know what I found? I had stressed over it a lot more than I should've, and prolonged my pain. I tend to find that, every single time that I'm honest and apologize up front rather than waiting and biting my nails and trying to think of excuses, people are more understanding.
There's no reason to be stark about it, but you can be apologetic and explain the truth to your friend about what happened. I'm not even as close to my friends' new wife as you seem to be with your friend, and still his wife forgave me and said it was no problem at all, that I could visit them at a later time. It made me feel silly for not saying anything up front.
Still other times I've made a bigger mess of things and hurt more feelings by waiting around and trying to avoid the truth. So...I'd say find a way to explain it to her nicely and I'm pretty certain she'll understand. You may even be able to re-schedule. At the very least, you'll have a load off of your mind and feel some relief!
Oh gosh I have so many examples for how much I know that feel but the most recent one that comes to mind is how an online friend who I've known for years was getting married and his fiancee (who I also become friends with) messaged me and invited me to their wedding/afterparty. It's hours away but I had work off that day, so I told her I'd be honored to come.
Then my work schedule changed and I ended up having to work that day. But for some reason, I still felt bad to tell her I couldn't make it, and so I said I'd find a way to make it around work or ask for the day off.
Eventually, I had to come to terms with myself and just say "omigosh I'm so sorry, but I really can't make it. You live many hours away and I can't get off of work that day. Please don't hate me. );"
But you know what I found? I had stressed over it a lot more than I should've, and prolonged my pain. I tend to find that, every single time that I'm honest and apologize up front rather than waiting and biting my nails and trying to think of excuses, people are more understanding.
There's no reason to be stark about it, but you can be apologetic and explain the truth to your friend about what happened. I'm not even as close to my friends' new wife as you seem to be with your friend, and still his wife forgave me and said it was no problem at all, that I could visit them at a later time. It made me feel silly for not saying anything up front.
Still other times I've made a bigger mess of things and hurt more feelings by waiting around and trying to avoid the truth. So...I'd say find a way to explain it to her nicely and I'm pretty certain she'll understand. You may even be able to re-schedule. At the very least, you'll have a load off of your mind and feel some relief!
Konti- Posts : 51
Join date : 2013-03-04
Age : 33
Location : FL, USA -
Re: I'm not avoiding you... Wait, no I am.
by Ivazel Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:03 am
Fai - It must be nice to be like that sometimes. I couldn't be straight up blunt, too many worries etc that tend to stop me.
I've heard of that term before, never tried it though so I'll see if it's possible there.
Although it's not good to hear you've all been in similar situations, I'm glad to hear you got through it and it went all alright. I'm going to tell her come Friday when I see her, hopefully it'll go alright.
You're right though, Konti, keeping it to yourself and not telling them is most likely more stressing than doing so.Still sometimes you can't help but to.
I've heard of that term before, never tried it though so I'll see if it's possible there.
Although it's not good to hear you've all been in similar situations, I'm glad to hear you got through it and it went all alright. I'm going to tell her come Friday when I see her, hopefully it'll go alright.
You're right though, Konti, keeping it to yourself and not telling them is most likely more stressing than doing so.Still sometimes you can't help but to.
Ivazel- Posts : 59
Join date : 2013-03-17
Age : 31
Location : England, UK -
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